Monday, January 31, 2011

DINNER TIME!


You know that feeling you get every night down there? Nope, just above that...that's right the stomach region. A deep hurting pain as if your stomach is a 13 year old girl and she just saw Justin Bieber kiss another girl. This sensation is often referred to as hunger.


In America when people are hungry we always say, "I WANT MCDONALDS!" or "IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATERBOARDING MY APPETITE!" (we love references to waterboarding). But in Japan when people are hungry there is often a cacophony of "onaka suita" or "my stomach is empty" In any given Japanese family from the young taro tanaka to the grand master ojiisan these words are often repeated multiple times until the great rice god delivers the food into their mouths. The great rice god is always welcomed with "itatakimasu" or which loosely translates to "don't let me get fat like the americans" in which the rice god complies offering a low carb rice recommended by the Miami beach diet. This is one of the main secrets to the japanese people being able to stay slim.

But what happens if you are a foreigner like me whom the rice god despises and left to fend for yourself. Well, there are three main options for foreigner to obtain food.
1. Neighbors vegetable garden
2. 7/11
3. the Supermaket

1. The neighbors vegetable garden offers a variety of delicious foods, but be careful because these foods are in short supply. If the neighbors start asking questions about missing fruits and vegetables its best just to blame that "other foreigner down the street" because let's face it...it's either you or him in this town and its best to distinguish yourself as the "good foreigner"

2. The 7/11 is equivalent to the hatch on the island lost. There is a never ending supply of foods and drinks in this little place and no one knows where it comes from. You are comfortable just staying there all the time and you never really want to wonder too far away. However, at one point you may get tired of eating onigiri and drinking pocari sweat. At this point you will realize that there is the great amazing supermarket.

3. The supa is a place of mysteries, magics, and wonderments. You walk in and think this is similar to my grocery store back home but for shorter people. But as you traverse the aisles you notice the fish head eyes staring at you and the endless variations of green tea. You think to yourself lets start off in a safe place and quickly rush to the chocolate and chips section. Where you can be saved by a miniature bag of dorito's and hershey's chocolate! SAFE!
As you regain your confidence you continue to walk around and find something that looks like fried chicken, some sushi rolls, and some kind of toast pizza. Perhaps you can really eat foreign foods here? You quickly buy these goods not looking anyone in the face because everyone is judging you by what you are buying. So to play it cool you grab some lettuce, broccoli, and what looks to be some kind of dairy product. Oh NO! You made it halfway to your car and you realized that tonight you will be alone again and you are out of beer. You run back in buy the first thing your hand grabs because it all tastes the same anyways which is probably a kirin green label.


You get back home open your bag of delights and your newly fermented beer and enjoy it while watching some japanese tv which probably consists of a man in a penguin suit playing air hockey.

Then the next night is repeated all over again.